I spent the wee hours of Monday morning in full panic attack mode. Don't ask me why, because I couldn't give you an answer.  All I know is that my brain was nowhere to be found and I was practically hyperventilating. And I might have thrown a few things across the room, just to release some energy.

Again, don't ask me why. And I don't really know why I'm writing this story for the entire internet to see, but since I already started, I guess I'll just get on with it.

I hadn't slept well in several days, and the new medicine I'm on to take care of Lance the cyst makes me a little crazy on occasion. Add those two with a huge load of work to be finished by 7:30am the next day, and you're looking at a natural disaster.

Nate woke up around 2am saying "what is WRONG with you? are you okay?"  I don't know if I even stopped freaking out long enough to answer him. Between sitting there spouting off who-knows-what about how I'm quitting everything because I suck at life in general and I can't handle the load and nothing is right and I JUST CANT TAKE THE PRESSURE ANYMORE and going to throw up in the bathroom, he convinced me to take something to help me sleep, rearrange my schedule for the next day so that I could actually rest, and come get back in the bed.  I took medicine, curled up next to him, and just laid there as he rubbed my back and whispered that everything was okay.

And it was.

I laid there awake long after Nate had fallen back asleep, just listening to him breathe and finding comfort in the consistent rhythm of it. Consistency makes my wheels turn, makes me move forward, makes me able to handle the craziness of life.... so I cling to it wherever I can find it.  Early Monday morning, finding it there was all I needed.  When I panicked, he was there to comfort me. When I couldn't sort things out in my head, he helped me find a way to lay out all the pieces and get some perspective.  When I was a total wreck, he wrapped his arms around me and loved me anyway.

I love the fact that one of my clearest glimpses into the character of God is through my husband. God promises that his steadfast love never ceases, his mercies never end, and that they are new every morning. If the faithfulness of God isn't consistent, I don't know what is!  When I doubt, He is there. When I panic, He is there. When I go my own way, He is there.  And just in case I forget, he sent me a husband that will remind me in the wee hours of the morning just how much He loves me.

I've told you about my bestest bestest friend/roommate ever, Kelly.

And I've mentioned her marine-husband, Aaron, who she met when we were in 10th grade and immediately fell head-over-heels in love with. It's weird to think I've known him longer than I've known Nate. Hmm.

Anyway. I've told you about Aaron, better known as Arnie...

who went to Iraq...

was injured...

and came back stronger than ever. 

Now he shares his story all over the place with magazines, news shows, in speeches, etc. 

He's one of Mississippi's future politicians, so keep your eye out for him.  He has just helped out with a new campaign commercial for Charlie Ross, who's running for Congress here in Misssissippi. Wanna see?

If you live here in MS, you've probably already seen it.

Yep, that's my best friend's husband.

I'm pretty much famous.

Actually, that's how I'm going to feel when I finally get through the next few weeks.

This weekend was really great, although I didnt get hardly ANY work done. I did sit down and get my project finished Sunday evening, but only because it was due Monday and I didnt have a choice.  Actually, I didnt get it totally finished Sunday evening, I slacked off and went to sleep instead.  That's what happens when your husband is saying in his sweet puppy voice "c'mon, baby... why don't you get in the bed. Just turn out the light and we'll snuggle... don't you want to snuggle?"    Believe me, you wouldn't be able to resist either. 

The only problem is that it happened like 3 nights in a row. Which meant that 3 nights in a row passed with me throwing my schoolbooks on the floor, turning off my lamp, and going to sleep all snuggled up with Natey.  Great sleep, but no studying.

So anyway I ended up finishing the project while riding around in Dad's car with him Monday morning and just barely having time to type it up before I left for campus. Why does that seem to happen so much?

Anyway, the weekend was fun, though. Friday night we went to our Good Friday service, which was great.  Saturday afternoon we had our 3rd annual MHC Easter Egg Hunt. Then we headed on over to aunt Mary's to dye eggs with "the new generation," as Lacey calls them.  Unfortunately, "the new generation" is still too young to really care much about dyeing eggs. They'd rather dump sand on each other in the sandbox.  Then we headed over to Lacey's for supper. Sunday morning we had our Easter service, and all of the kids sang, which is always hilarious, and Hunter preached a dynamite sermon.  Then we went to aunt Ame's for lunch. The rest of the afternoon was spent watching movies while I did homework.

Here are a few of my favorite pics from the weekend:

Pics from the Easter Egg Hunt

To see the rest of the Easter Egg Hunt photos, click here.

Saturday with the Family, or "The New Generation Dyes Eggs"... except that they really didnt.

To see more pics from spending Saturday with the family, click here.

It's amazing how I can go like a week straight posting every single day, then something  hits and I dont have time for ANYTHING AT ALL. I hate it when life gets like that.

I've had a little bit of an on-going anxiety attack for the past 2 weeks or so, and I'm just now digging myself out of it.  I suddenly realised exactly how much work I have due for school in a very small amount of time,  and when you add my huge list of things to do for the childrens ministry this spring, I just fall in on myself.

But I will get back to the hospitality poll results (all 8 of you that responded.... what am I going to do with the rest of you?!?) and all of the things I wanted to say about that.  I have several half-posts that are already written and saved, but I havent gotten the chance to finish them and hit "publish." But I will.

But for now, I'm going to enjoy  a fun, relaxed, enjoyable weekend with my inlaws where I sit and relax on the couch with Kathy and an apple martini   a fun and enjoyable weekend with my inlaws in which I squeeze in as much schoolwork as possible and trying really hard not to feel guilty while they're here.

Oh yeah, and the church's easter egg hunt, and the family's easter egg dyeing, and the good friday service, and the whole Easter day itself.

Hey, do any of you have any spare hours in the day you could throw my way?

I realized at 11:30 last night that I have a paper due today at 1pm on a book I dont have a copy of and cant find one anywhere.

Crap.

I've got to get it together.

Can't I minister to people just as effectively at their house? Or at a restaurant? Or while we're shopping?

In a short answer, no.  At least, I personally don't think so (but as always, you should always take my personal opinions with at least a tiny bit of reservation...).

Of course, you CAN minister to people in those settings. You can minister to people in any setting. But not quite as effectively.  There's something to be said for opening up your home to someone.  To really get to know someone, you have to be honest, open, and real with them.  The more you put yourself on the line, the more likely the other person is to reciprocate.  And the easiest way to get to know someone is to see them in their primary setting, their natural habitat.... their own house.

You can learn alot about a person from spending a little time in their home: their personal style, what they think is important, how they communicate with their family, how they manage their household... things you might not learn about if you're just sitting across from them at a restaurant.  Most of all, you learn that they're not perfect.  More than likely, you'll probably see something in their house that isn't clean.  If they have kids, you'll probably see one misbehave, which means you'll probably watch how they correct and discipline their children.  If you're at my house, you'll probably experience a dinner where I ruin at least 2 things and watch me get embarrassed.  But hey, that's part of coming over and having dinner with me.

But getting past those things is the hard part.  If I know that inviting people over means I'm going to get embarrassed over what I cooked (usually happens), embarrassed when I realized I forgot to clean up the guest bathroom before they came (usually happens), and embarrassed because my house is always always ALWAYS dusty (usually happens), then why do I want to invite people over? Aren't I just setting myself up for feeling inadequate and incompetent?? If I can bypass all of those feelings of inadequacy and embarrassment and just meet them at a restaurant, why don't I??

Because seeing me in all of my imperfection and incompetence and embarrassment makes me real.

I don't know about you, but I am much more willing to be open and receptive to someone that I know has the same struggles as I do than someone who is perfect...and I'm especially not going to be as open and receptive to someone that I can tell is faking it. I struggle with keeping my house clean, staying on top of the laundry, getting my work done, keeping up with my committments, making sure I speak sweetly to my husband all the time, and not getting fed up and frustrated when things go wrong. There's no place in the world that other people can see the real me better than when they're spending time at my home with me and my husband.  That's where I'm at my most comfortable and relaxed state, even though that's the place where it's most obvious that I don't have it all together.

Usually, others will relax and let down their guard when they see you relax and let down yours, and that's how the most memorable conversations are born. And that's what ministering to people is all about - serving people well, showing them the love of Christ through your actions to them and others, and opening the door to meaningful, Christ-centered relationships where encouragement and growth are possible.

If opening my front door and letting people in to see the dust, dirty laundry, and bad cooking is what it takes to best foster that kind of relationship, then come on in...but enter at your own risk!

 Whenever I want feedback, I always get it back in the form of emails.  It's like yall are all scared to leave something on the page where someone else might see what you wrote.  Well, today I have a question for you, and since you people suck so much at leaving comments, I thought I'd try it this way. 

You might have read the post over at the CC blog that I wrote yesterday.  There will probably be more on the topic, despite the fact that I said in the post that I wasnt going to do that. Oh well. I changed my mind.  I have decided that I just might have more to say on the topic.

But first I want your opinion...

I can tell you that my main one(s) were all of the above, except for the kids one and the outgoing personality one. I threw those in there because I've heard them from other people numerous times. But all the others are straight from my own personal excuse pile.

The house in Ashbrooke that we customized the plans for and AREN'T moving into...

But I'm okay with that because I love the house we DID move into. But still. I kinda had my heart set on that one.

Lookin' good, huh?  This one is about 4 weeks out.  So if you're looking for a 4 bedroom, 2200+ sq foot house with 3 garage bays and a great floor plan, give Nate a ring.

And speaking of our non-houses, here's a few good shots Nate took of our old one.... just to entice you to buy it.  You could buy either of them really, and I would be happy.

And the lake in the back...

I think both houses are perfect for you. You should get 2.  

 I cant sleep because my stomach is doin' something funky, so I decided now's a great time to share the pics from our Bunny Birthday Party that I went to on Saturday for 2 of my favorite little girls.

Here's the link to the album.

and just to show you a few...

"You want me to do WHAT? Stick my face in that? ummm no."

And speakin of my favorite little girls, here's another one at the top of that list....

Plus there's lots more pictures from the party of all the kids I'm so addicted to. You should check it out.